4 posts tagged “funny”

    I arrived home a little while ago from running an errand for a friend, and have been staring at my computer ever since. I prefer to write six days a week, and today I am finding myself struggling. I explored some unfinished projects, I stumbled through about one hundred websites, and flipped through the news of the day. None of these paths have given me anything interesting. The next step I take when stuck is to start looking through correspondence with friends, perhaps in there someone said something that could inspire me. It has worked before, but today it did not.
    I moved on to looking through blog's and websites of both friends and strangers alike, and that is where I found todays offering.
    I am going to ask a question... and expect you to answer with questions. It is a scientist that I am copying.

    Usually I find that sort of exchange pretty annoying.
    Me: "What time is it?"
    You: "Why do you need to know?"
    Me: Because I need to know if it's time to hit you in the face with a frying pan, just answer the damn question!"

    anyway...
       I am at a point that I want to know what people who stop by and read this blog think about.
       I am asking for you to propose a topic or just ask a question of me. I propose no limitations. Anyone who has been reading here for more than a week knows that I quite often change theme from personal to silly to creative writing. What I am looking for, is for you dear reader to challenge. I stress again that there are no limitations, and assuming I get asked more than one question or presented more than one topic, I will start with my favorite and work out from there.
       Here are a variety of ways to get in touch with me.
       #1 comment on this post, I read them and almost always reply so  start there.
       #2 Email me. I check that about a million times a day.
       #3 Facebook. This is a link to my fan page, I only have eight and I am one of them. There are discussion boards and communication avenues abound so join up, stroke my ego and ask me a question.

       I look forward to the challenge of standing up straight in the face of your proposals and look forward to hearing from you

       So here it goes... What do you want to know? .

    I heard once upon a time, the single greatest line in reference to the unintelligent. I attribute the quote to my Grandmother because it sounds cute and clever to say, "my grams used to say...", but I can't be sure that she said it, but in my mind she always will.
    "I can't stand stupid people, I am all the stupid that I can handle."

    I love it. The only problem is that stupid is now everywhere. High School dropout rates have not declined, there are less and less people pursuing higher degrees in the sciences than ever before in this country. Stupid move. I am in partial contradiction to myself in being upset about such things. I am a person who believes that going to school is not truly necessary as long as you have a sense of curiosity and a library card ( or the internet as the case may be ). The justification for my thinking on the subject is simple and obvious. I believe you can learn anything, anywhere, just as long as you are willing to learn.
    I don't always write pretty, I have that shortcoming.
    I have made some very poor decisions in my life.
    I am not some great intellectual.
   
    ...but I never stop thinking, so I never stop learning...
    ...everyone in some way shape or form has put their hand on a hot stove...
   
    The problem for me is the dumbing of an entire culture, or rather the dramatic moves we make to ensure that we never have a culture at all.
    I make a lot of jokes about a lot of things, but this truly is something that upsets me. I have no perfect answer to solve the problem. Better schools and education opportunities could make an improvement, but it all boils down to peoples mentalities. Learning is something we do naturally, but when we distract ourselves with copious amounts of television and celebrity gossip we remove that chance of something of value seeping into our minds.
   
    I also think it is important to entertain. So stop thinking about what I have said now... if you haven't already, and enjoy.

Stupid Human Tricks

I like funny little quips like, "WWJD... for a Klondike Bar?"

    This to me is humor at its absolute finest. Slightly offensive (but only to the right people), slightly bizarre (that someone, somewhere came up with this peculiar slogan combo) and delightful because I get to waste my day away wondering to myself...
    "WHAT WOULD JESUS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?

    Freud said that humor is a response to frustration. Maybe I am not as smart as Sigmund pretended to be, but I have to admit that I don't get it. I have indeed experienced nervous laughter but I would say that nervous laughter takes up .001% of my total laughter over the past thirty years. Infectious laughter on the other hand has taken a great hold of me, a great number of times. An interesting aside about infectious laughter is that the source of any case of infectious laughter can always be traced to a child.
   
It's true.
If you don't believe me, you can go fuck yourself.

    So here I think about laughter without a smile on my face. I'm taking the whole thing so seriously that perhaps I should be committed... but I seem to be wandering away from what I really came here to talk about today.

    "What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?"
    Would he have stopped pestering the Romans? It's possible. The Klondike bar is a powerful force in the universe able to manipulate anyone and anything to exist only as a slave to the Klondike bar. Jesus should be no exception.
    I personally no longer live in fear of the Klondike bar, I did what I had to do... I did what I had to do to survive and you shouldn't dare to judge me for my actions.
    I'm not proud of it but it's all behind me now.